What I've Wanted to Say
by one thousand galaxies
Summary: Convinced she is the sole survivor of the Kurta Clan massacre, Setsuna heads out to take the Hunter Exam and fulfill the promise she made to her two best friends. Things are going pretty well until she sees quite the familiar face!
1. 一

第１章

* * *

Sometimes I think that none of it ever happened. That such a group never existed, and no one ever died, and that I wasn't like this. I say that I'm not living in fear and risk, but I am.

And as I sit in this field of wildflowers, I think about the ugly floral vase my mother adored. It was always filled with something, be it blossoms, feathers, or even branches if she was feeling creative. I never liked it, nor did I appreciate the thought, but now I miss it. I miss the soft wrinkles that decorated her face, and her delicate hands that had sewn every single stitch in our clothes. The way her voice was never raised, but always a mellow tone. The way she forgave me, and the way she told me she would always love me, no matter what. Everything about her was relaxed and heartwarming. I miss the unconditional love I never appreciated. I miss all of it.

I have no right to feel like this. I never said goodbye to her, or to him, or to any of them. It was my fault. I was forced to leave, and I didn't get to say a farewell. I never saw their sweet faces again.

And now they're all dead. Every last one, except for me.

I look at my hands. They're calloused and uncomfortable. A thin line of dirt is shoved underneath my nails, and no amount of scrubbing will be able to remove it. The grass is swaying from the soft breezes, and it tickles my legs. I think about ripping it out of the ground, but I've already caused enough damage. The world is sick of my existence.

This hill looks like it goes on forever. I like to think it does. I pull my knees to my chest, and hug them tightly. The clouds are moving at a nice steady pace, and the sky is a faded blue, almost gray. I hear loud footsteps behind me, and I tightly blink a few times. No one can see.

A voice breaks the silence. It feels like I'm listening to nails on a chalkboard. Sharp and revolting.

"Mai needs you."

My whole body sighs. A bird is singing a simple tune in the distance. The wind picks up.

"You've always been difficult."

I slowly nod, watching three ants crawl by my shoe. They remind me of us, when we searched for limited adventure and simple pleasures.

I calmly stand up, and brush the leaves and dirt off of my backside. The bird has stopped singing and the clouds have left. My calf muscles ache with every step as I follow him back to the village. There is a few brown strands of hair jetting out from his head like twigs, and I look down to his feet. His boots are caked with mud.

After a few minutes of walking, we arrive at the small house. I stare at the door, studying the swirling wood grain. Nao motions for me to enter, and reluctantly, I do.

The house is eerily quiet, and dark. Stuffy. Suffocating, in a way. I already want to leave, but I know that I can't. It was part of the deal.

I look at Nao. He points to the ceiling.

I glance at the stairs, and my stomach flips. It's the same reaction every time. It always will be.

I take the first step, and of course, it loudly creaks. The wood bends underneath my weight, and once I reach the top, I make sure not to look back.

Her room is to the right. I don't bother knocking.

I open the door, and there she is, sitting up on her bed, staring out the window. Her long black hair spills down her back and spreads across her blanket like paint. She turns to observe me with piercing blue eyes that I will always be envious of. Mine _have_ to be black. It's too dangerous to refrain from concealing.

I shut the door and move to the chair positioned next to her small bed. I hesitate to sit down, and choke on words. When she looks at you, it burns.

The pastel curtains are neatly drawn back. The view she has isn't particularly spectacular, but it's all she's got. I gaze outside, and my eyes follow pale leaves falling from the trees. She interrupts.

"I heard you were thinking about leaving," she says, not looking at me. Instead, she picks at her fingernails.

I nod.

"Where on Earth could you possibly go? No one wants you."

Her words have always been poisonous.

"_We_ didn't even want you. But I liked you. So I allowed you to stay. And now that you want to leave..."

She stops messing with her nails and looks directly at me.

"You should be grateful you can stay here. _No one wants you out there. _You're disposable. Do you even think you can survive? When we found you, you could barely stand up. It was _pathetic_."

She slowly smirks, twirling her hair around one finger.

"You're an idiot if you think that I can't survive. How long did you think I was even out there?"

She pauses. She doesn't know. She knows that she doesn't know anything about me at all.

"_Years. _I was out there for _years_. My whole family was killed. Every last one. My friends, my family. _Everyone is dead_. And you have the nerve to tell me I can't survive?"

Before Kana and Kaori, I kept to myself. I did everything on my own. I didn't stare too long. I moved quickly. I kept myself in check. I took so many precautions. Everything was with those two idiots in mind. I should be dead. I should've died with them.

I wanted to die with them.

"Listen, Mai. I'm leaving. I'm taking the Hunter Exam. I'm tired of this. I'm exploring this world. It was the last thing I ever told my best friend. I promised him. I'm leaving."

I'm on the verge of bitter tears, so I quickly get up. She's clearly speechless, for once. The left curtain is starting to droop.

I leave her room and carefully close the door. I stare down the stairs I am to descend, and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I push every feeling away.

I walk by Nao, who is leaned against a table. He straightens himself, keeping his arms crossed.

"So you're really leaving."

I shake my head. He frowns.

"Why?"

"Because I want to. Obviously."

He unfolds his arms. I smile, which is something I never do.

"You've always been an easy book to read. Dry your eyes, kid. You won't miss me."

I quickly stop talking, realizing that I sound a lot like my uncle. Awkward.

"...You don't know that..."

"You don't have to lie, Nao. Tell Emi and Aya that I think I won't forget them."

I continue past him. He follows me outside of the house.

"Setsuna! I—"

"Don't worry about it."

I glance back. His eyes are glossy.

"Nao?"

"I... Setsuna, well, I—"

"If you're going to confess your love for me, think again. I'm a horrible person. I'm in love with someone who's been dead for five years. I would never wish myself upon you."

By the way he looks down, I know I've hit the nail on the head. I walk up to him and ruffle his hair, which is the only friendly thing I've done to anyone in this entire village.

"Plus, I'm taller than you."

I grin, and remove my hand from his head. He weakly smiles. I turn around around and start my journey.

He calls after me.

"We'll miss you!"

I wave. The trees start swinging, and leaves fly everywhere. I disappear into the forest. Crazy déjà vu.

Time to see what this place is all about, Pairo, Kurapika.

* * *

終わり


	2. 二

第２章

* * *

**It was a quiet day. My cheek was red and stinging. My father lowered his hand. His eyes burned like fire.**

**His words always cut like knives. Everyone chose not to notice.**

**They pretended they couldn't hear the yelling. They pretended they couldn't see the bruises, and the scratches, and the dried blood that speckled and stained my clothes and hair. They acted like nothing was wrong. They didn't want to believe anything was wrong. **

**Kurapika would give me looks, and wrap his arm around my shoulders. Pairo would feel around for my hand, to hold it. To squeeze it. Because they knew. ****They didn't believe me when I said it was just an animal scratch. ****They didn't pretend. **They noticed.

**It was a quiet day. He turned away from me to trudge down the steps.**

**It was pure rage, sadness and hopelessness that compelled me to push him.**

**I stared down at my father's body, lying lifeless at the bottom of the staircase. His head rested in a pool of blood.**

**The scary part was that I felt nothing at all.**

**My mother ran in because of the noise.**

**The screaming.**

******There was so much screaming. **

**My hands covered my crimson eyes. Tears scorched my face.**

_**He's dead. You killed him. You killed him. It's your fault. You killed him.**_

**She ran out for help. I heard her yelling and screaming outside. People rushed in. I slumped down against the wall, and sobbed. They moved him out on a blanket. They cleaned everything up. My mother, my dear mother. My brother. My uncle.**

**My father. His eyes were still burning fire when they carried him away.**

**Everyone had left outside to discuss what to do with me, the screw up. The disgrace. ****I remember Kurapika approaching me at the top of the stairs. **He looked scared and saddened. The sight of him triggered more tears, and he calmly wrapped his arms around me, and we cried together.

* * *

What a time for horrible memories. I'm struggling to choke everything down like vile cough medicine.

I am standing amongst the sea of bodies in this tunnel. It is stuffy and dark, and has a faint smell of sweat. Pleasant.

The ground is hard dirt, and piping lines the walls. There is an elevator at the front where we've entered from, and every few minutes a new applicant arrives. I've tried to observe every single one of them.

I've been debating whether or not to cut my hair. It's gotten so long that sitting down is a challenge. I suppose it wouldn't hurt. Long hair is a struggle when you're in action. I tap on the shoulder of the man standing next to me.

"May I borrow your knife for a few seconds?" I ask, pointing to the dagger in his pocket.

"Are you an idiot?" he snarls. His eyes are a deep shade of brown, and his hair is a dull blonde color, like sand. Shaggy, choppy, and messy. It's all too familiar. I cross my arms.

"I might be."

He hesitates, but pulls out the knife and loosely hands it to me.

"Don't take too long."

I gather up my hair. He looks confused at first, but simply nods as he understands. I start sawing away. Just a few inches should do it. It piles onto the floor, like brown snakes. My hair now reaches my mid back, and it feels weird. I hand him the blade.

"Thanks."

He blankly stares at me for a few seconds. I slightly cock my eyebrow.

"What? Does it look bad?"

"No... It's just... Nevermind."

He moves away so his back is facing me. I purse my lips. I don't like to be ignored when I'm talking to someone.

"It's just _what?_"

His shoulders rise and fall.

"...You... You're not bad looking. That's it."

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

"Take it how you want."

I can't help but smile. His appearance is another thing, but his personality reminds me of my brother.

"I like you. You're not terrible."

He quickly turns around with a red face. I guess that's a compliment in his book. I hold out my hand.

"Setsuna. Nice to meet you."

He gives me a suspicious look, but firmly shakes it. His hand feels slightly damp. It _is_ pretty hot in here.

"Katsuaki."

He brushes the hair off of his eyes, and I get a better view. I have to look up to see his face. Overall, he's a pretty average guy, but on the tall side. Much taller than Kurapika would've been. Medium frame. Wiry. He wears a beige shirt that almost perfectly matches his hair, and brown pants. Plain, worn sneakers. Carries just a knife. Looks like an amateur teenage mugger if you ask me.

For me, I carry nothing except a dagger on the inside of my jacket. I was never really into swords or things like that. I only use it for emergencies, to keep it nice and sharp.

Katsuaki suddenly leans in closer to my face, and I flinch.

"E-Excuse you?"

"I was just thinking that your eyes look... I don't know, _black_."

I mentally jump. I almost forgot. They're actually brown, but I can't risk anything. Anything to conceal, anything to spare time.

"They _are_ black. What of it?" I lie, crossing my arms. "Is it creepy or something? Is there a problem?"

"No. They're just... different. Cool different," he mumbles, with a slight smile.

I'm immensely confused by his sudden warmness.

I stare at him, and suddenly a horrible feeling hits me like a train, right where it hurts. He resembles _him_ too much, and I can't look at him any longer or I'll explode.

"Uh, what's wrong?" Katsuaki asks, pointing to my face, "You're kind of tearing up. Allergies, maybe?"

"_What_? Ah, yeah, allergies, man. I get them real bad. Always have. Sneezing, runny nose, coughing, the worst. Sometimes phlegm—"

"—Alright... Didn't need to know that much."

I sheepishly smile, and then frantically wipe my eyes. Conceal. _Conceal_. Watch yourself, Setsuna.

He knows I'm lying. It's written on his face. The atmosphere becomes awkward, so I correct myself, as vaguely as possible.

"Actually... It's not allergies. I've never had allergy problems in my life. It's just... you just look like one of my best friends. That's all."

I pause. It seems like he's expecting more, so I tell him._  
_

"Uh... He's dead, so..."

"Oh. Sorry about that," he says, scratching the back of his head. I nod, and stare at the ground.

"I'm— I'm going to people watch. I'll see you around," I quickly tell him, heading to the front. I was nearly about to suffocate.

"Y-Yeah... See ya."

I feel like hitting my head on a brick.

I sit on the pipes connected to the wall. The elevator opens and a younger boy with silver hair enters. He carries a skateboard. I think his shoes are strange. Bulky, almost. He takes a number from the little green man and merges in with the crowd, keeping to himself. Just like I should have done. He starts chewing gum. He glances over in my direction and I turn away.

I _could_ hit my head on a brick and get amnesia. Then I'd forget I ever interacted with another human being and almost threw my life down the drain.

I decide it's too risky. What if I forget more than that? And, I see no bricks anywhere.

I sit there for a few hours. More and more people show up within minutes of the last. No one pays any particular attention to me, besides quick, nervous glimpses. When the hours seem to be winding down and no one seems to be arriving, the elevator opens once more. All I could see was a young face and _very_ spiky hair before Katsuaki blocks my view.

"The exam's going to start soon," he says, "Let's go back to where we were."

I nod in agreement, and follow him. I look for the silver-haired boy I saw earlier. He's up ahead of us to the left, still holding his skateboard and still alone. I watch him for a few minutes, knowing that he probably knew I was. No ordinary kid takes the Hunter Exam.

"See that kid other there, Katsu?" I whisper, discreetly gesturing towards his area.

"_Katsu_...?" he grumbles. I shrug my shoulders.

"I like to give nicknames."

I peek at the boy again. We can just see his profile.

"He has really cool hair. And he looks really young. I think that's pretty awesome."

Suddenly, the young boy smiles. It was barely noticeable, but I saw the end of his lip curl up and his face move with it. If I could see the front of his face, it would probably be something like a quiet smirk. I quickly recoil behind Katsuaki, embarrassed that he heard me. I then pretend to fiddle with my badge pinned to my jacket.

"Isn't 82 an interesting number?" I blurt out like _the idiot I might be. _The awkward idiot _I am_. Katsuaki gives me the weirdest look.

"I mean... I guess?" he says, raising his eyebrows. I mentally face palm. He probably thinks I'm crazy. _You idiot._

I hear snickering, and I turn to look at the boy. _It's him! _My face turns absolutely red.

"He's... He's laughing at me!" I exclaim, pointing directly at him. I can't see his face at all. The sniggering continues, and I become unbearably hot.

"I just— I swear...!" I mutter, turning away so my back is towards the kid. I try to block out this laughter.

"It _was _pretty funny," Katsuaki chuckles, covering his mouth. I glare at him, and he instantly stops. _Thank you._

_You would not believe this, Kurapika, Pairo, _I think, trying to stay calm, _I don't understand people at all!_

"Ahem..."

There is immediate silence, and everyone looks up. We see a man with one insane mustache.

Katsuaki and I look at each other.

It seems the exam is beginning.

* * *

終わり


	3. 三

第３章

* * *

I ease up to a jog, and Katsuaki quickly does the same. Everyone is running. Their feet are stomping on the ground, and a chorus of quiet breaths spread throughout us. This is Phase One of the Hunter Exam.

Katsuaki and I are sort of in the front. We can vaguely see Satotz, our examiner for this phase, ahead of us, moving speedily along with whatever it is he's doing. No one can call that a normal walk.

"How's it going?" I ask, keeping a steady pace. Who knows how long we'll be running. A bead of sweat rolls down my temple and cheek, dripping off at my chin. I quickly wipe my face off with the sleeve of my jacket.

"Good," Katsuaki says, almost shouting over the noise, "You?"

"I'm doing good, too."

From where we are, there seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel, which slightly worries me. Satotz continues on. My left side is starting to feel it, so I think of something to distract myself.

I carefully pick out a pleasant memory.

* * *

_It was a day where my mother had us go and pick some berries from a bush that was behind our house. We were the ones who always did it; the three of us._

_Pairo would hold the basket. The thorns that covered the bush were too dangerous, and as it was our secret duty to protect him at all cost, we gave him the important job of taking care of the basket with the berries._

_He didn't complain, but the look on his face said enough._

_The next day, Kurapika and I had a top secret meeting regarding it._

_"Alright, I'll get some material from my mother and something to cut it with. You're going to have to get the needle and thread," Kurapika told me, writing his tasks on a scrap of paper. The sun was setting._

_"Are you sure your hands aren't too big?" I asked, checking over the measurements, "You know Pairo is pretty frail."_

_"We'll just knock off a little bit."_

_I pursed my lips, worried they wouldn't fit little Pairo's hands. But it was better than nothing._

_I remember sneaking into my mother's room that night, swiping one of her needles and grabbing a spool of brown thread. With all of it she had, she wouldn't even notice it was gone._

_And she didn't._

_In the morning I quickly headed over to our meeting area. I presented my items, and he did the same._

_"Perfect. Now we just have to make them," Kurapika said, outlining the pattern. We both froze._

_"...Um, how are we supposed to do that?"_

* * *

I smile and shake my head. We were always doing things like that.

_I _was the one who ended up making the gloves. They were a little lopsided, but they served their purpose.

* * *

_"Okay, hold on to me, Pairo," Kurapika calmly said, taking his hand. The smile on Pairo's face was beautiful._

_I stood close, holding the basket. Birds flew in zigzags above us. Gray thick clouds covered us like a silver blanket. I remember my hair was neatly tied up, and it stirred in the smooth breezes. _

_"You should be able to tell what's a berry and what's not," I explained, watching Pairo carefully feel around. He grasped the first one, but accidentally squished it between his fingers._

_"Oh, shoot," he murmured. Kurapika and I giggled._

_"That's alright! Keep going. We'll help you."_

_When we were finished, we thought about tossing the gloves. They were covered in deep purple stains, but Pairo insisted we kept them. Oddly enough, I was the one who took them home. I hid them under my bed where they would remain until reduced to ash and smoke._

_We helped my mother bake a berry pie that night. The three of us sat outside and watched the stars speckle the now indigo sky, and ate pie in small bites. The air was damp and cool, and the grass tickled my legs like feathers. Cicadas croaked around us and the sweet scent of rain was hovering above us. The sky rumbled in the distance, and we hurried inside before the downpour. _

* * *

My eyes are moist. I glance at Katsuaki, who is huffing and puffing along like a steam engine. I must've killed maybe five minutes. The stabbing pain in my side is working like a jackhammer. I try to keep my breathing calm.

"You— Alright— Over there?" Katsuaki asks between breaths. My tongue is tied, so I nod.

"I'm just worried I'll pass out," I manage to choke out. I used to push myself to keep up with Kurapika, resulting in me fainting numerous times.

_It's not a race_, he'd tell me when I woke up, waggling his finger, _Pace yourself. I wouldn't be able to handle your death._

I definitely couldn't handle yours. I still can't.

"It's not a race," I mumble, quietly enough for only me to hear. "It's not a race."

I slow down a bit. I'm getting intimidated by everyone else. I need to focus on me, and only me.

Katsuaki looks behind his shoulder at me, peeking through his hair. I raise my hands, saying, _Don't worry about me_. He doesn't say anything, but turns around. I concentrate on moving my feet, ignoring the pain, and blocking out every sound.

✴✴✴ 休憩 ✴✴✴

An unknown amount of time has passed. I know that it's been a while. My vision has gotten slightly blurry and I can hardly keep my mouth closed, but I keep going. This is just the first phase. We've just begun.

My eyes start to close, and everyone looks completely fuzzy. I trip over my own feet and land face first on the hard ground. My chin immediately begins to sting.

I see Katsuaki stop moving, and hurry over to me. People are staring, shaking their heads and laughing, and my stomach does multiple flips. I feel self-conscious and dizzy.

"Are you okay?" a voice calls out. My hands are planted palm-down on the ground, and small drops of blood splatter about. I slowly shake my head, and Katsuaki grips my arms as I slowly stand.

"..."

I try to look at the stranger, but my vision has not returned. I can barely make out a young face and worried brown eyes. I'm staring down at him. It's a child. It's _Pairo_. I desperately reach out for him, but the image vanishes. It's not Pairo. It's not anything.

"Let's go," he firmly says, quickly weaving through throngs of people. He's tightly holding on to my hand. I'm dragging my feet across the ground as he speedily maneuvers through unfamiliar faces and bodies. Blood is dribbling off of my chin and soaking into my jacket.

Suddenly, I get a flash of Kurapika and Pairo's faces. My heart begins to pound as I suffocate on the images. I yank my hand away from Katsuaki's and stop. He stares at me like I'm mad. I place my hands behind my head and take a breather. Person after person pass us. Their faces tell me I'm a failure.

"You... You don't have to wait for me—"

"I'm _waiting_ for you," Katsuaki quickly snaps, cutting me off. He's almost glaring at me. I wipe off my chin. It burns.

They'd be disappointed. I can't cop out now, in Phase _One_. They wouldn't laugh, but tell me I could've done better. That I could've made it. Even my brother would've said that. Who knows what happened during the massacre. How much they suffered, how much horrible _pain _they were in. A damn jog in a tunnel is a damn walk in the park compared to that. I have no right to complain. I have nothing.

I start jogging again. Katsuaki seems relieved and worried at the same time, but is careful to match my pace. I'm sweating rivers, but I ignore it. I ignore everything.

Until, I look up ahead, and see _stairs_. _Thousands_ of stairs. I mentally scream. Images of my father's dead body float around my brain. I kick them out.

I try to focus on my feet as to not trip, but the inevitable happens.

This time, though, it's worse.

I fall _on a person_. We both tumble down, and I bang my head on one of the steps. After swearing under my breath, holding the area of injury and waiting a few seconds for the pain to subside, I look up at the victim of my clumsiness. Katsuaki is quietly standing by.

I almost choke. I can_not_ believe who it is.

* * *

終わり


	4. 四

第４章

* * *

"I'm _so_ sorry! I wasn't watching where I was going!"

I stare at a spiky-haired young boy, bowing in front of me. He looks up, and his eyes are the color of copper. I stand up, and see that I'm only taller than him by a few inches.

"It's not your fault," I say, hands in front of me, "_I _was the one not watching where I was going."

"_Gon__!_"

We both turn around. All I see is silver.

_It's him! It's that kid from earlier!_

"Killua?"

"Oh, it's _you_," 'Killua' says with a smirk. I instantly get annoyed. It's exactly like what my brother used to do, with that same damn voice.

"Oh, it's _you_, kid. How's it been?" I mutter, crossing my arms. Katsuaki tugs on my jacket sleeve.

"Look, we have to go," he says, motioning to the stairs, "We've waited too long."

"Agh, right. See you kids later. I'm Setsuna, by the way."

I wave, and Katsuaki and I quickly move on. I feel their eyes on me.

These stairs are endless. At least the tunnel doesn't feel as stuffy. This must mean we're getting closer to the exit. My face is covered in sweat and my chin still burns. Thankfully, it's not bleeding anymore, but my head is still throbbing from when this 'Gon' kid and I fell. I'm pretty banged up, but I definitely can't stop now. We've fallen far behind, and I've dragged poor Katsuaki down with me.

"You don't have to stay with me," I tell him, "You'll just get—"

"Hey, I've decided that I'm sticking with you. You can't change my mind."

His voice sounded so mellifluous and honest. I can't help but get a little red. He looks at me and grins, and I look away. Hopefully he can't hear my heart pounding.

Suddenly, I catch a glimpse of bright yellow. _Blonde_. I frantically look around, but see no one.

"What is it?" Katsuaki asks. I tightly shut my eyes.

"Nothing," I murmur, shaking my head. I'm imagining things again.

When I had heard about the massacre, I went a little insane. Naturally. All of my friends and family were dead. More importantly, _Kurapika_ and _Pairo_ were dead. My everything.

I was living with an elderly woman named Kana at the time. She was a fragile woman who loved to bake banana bread every Sunday. She took me in after finding me wandering the streets. I was just an eleven year-old, starved, broken, and full of lies to throw at her, which I did. I didn't hesitate at all. _My parents are dead and I have no one._

It was sort of true, at least.

One day, after living with her for about a year and things were looking up, we went to eat at a corner café. That's when I heard the news, in the worst way possible.

We were waiting in line, and I remember planning to order two pork buns. I was silently staring at my shoes, and the people in front of us began to whisper. I quietly eavesdropped, being the now twelve year-old child I was.

_"Did you hear about the Kurta Clan massacre?"_

_"You bet I did. The Phantom Troupe's brutal. I hope I never get tangled with them."_

_"Instant death."_

_"Yeah, there were no survivors. All 128 members killed."_

_"Said they gouged out all the eyes, too. How disgusting."_

It didn't soak in at first. It took me a few seconds, and then realization hit me like a train.

_Shin is dead._

_Mother is dead._

_Pairo is dead._

_Kurapika is dead._

_Kurapika._

_Kurapika is gone._

_My everything._

_My everything._

_I'll never see them again._

_Ever._

I fainted.

When I woke up, I was crying. I had a bump on the back of my head from when I passed out. Kana was sitting right by me, and her oldest daughter Kaori was there as well. Kana didn't understand why I was so hurt over the massacre. She didn't know they were my family. For all she knew, I was just an orphan.

Now I was.

She asked me what was happening, and it triggered something. I started seeing things. I started seeing _faces_. Everywhere. I heard their voices, their laughs. I saw his smile. It was everywhere, and I screamed.

I stayed in my room for months. I never left. Kaori stayed with us to take care of me. She brought me food, assisted me with baths, played her violin for me. Every night she'd tell me jokes to help me fall asleep. When I had nightmares and woke up wailing, she was there. Over time, I slowly got better.

Later on, Kana had died from a heart attack. I was done with the world. It was out to get me, and I was done.

Even though Kaori was hurting from her mother's death, she stayed with me and took care of me. She put up with all of my crap. I told her I was a member of the Kurta Clan. I told her about Kurapika and Pairo, and my dear brother Shin, and my mother whom I never hated. I told her about the eyes, and how real they really are. How people would kill for their beauty, and they did.

Now, though, Kana and Kaori are just bullet points on the list of people I've lost.

I'm about to glance behind me when a strong gust of _wind_ pushes my hair into my face. I look ahead and see the outline of Gon and Killua, dashing to the light. The light. _The light?_

"We're almost out!?" I exclaim. My heart starts to beat faster at the thought that I'm almost done with all of this running. At least, I hope I am.

Katsuaki chuckles, and I give him a confused face.

"I told you that maybe ten minutes ago. You've been spacing out. It's a miracle you didn't fall."

I breath in and out. How I was able to run and think at the same time, I'll never know.

We take the last few steps, and I _almost_ collapse. Not this time.

I peek around for Gon and Killua, but before I find them, Katsuaki nudges me to pay attention.

We are overlooking a large swamp. Satotz begins to explain.

"The Numere Wetlands, also known as Swindler's Swamp."

* * *

終わり

_Last week of school and finals, hence the shorter chapter. Once school is over there will be longer chapters. _ありがとう!_ Thank you!_


	5. 休憩

休憩

* * *

I slap my face as my feet are sloshing through the muck. Bugs are buzzing everywhere, and it smells like garbage. Mother nature.

I look down at my shoes. I never liked them anyways, heh heh.

Ugh.

I glance over at Katsuaki, who is clearly struggling. Pretty much all of us are. More sweat trails down my temples and nose.

"That... Weird run in with that monkey thing... Was crazy, huh?" he says, still focusing on the outline of Satotz. The fog is starting to set in, and I become slightly worried. Fog always makes me uncomfortable.

"And Hisoka... What an interesting guy," I chuckle, a bit nervous he might've heard me somehow. Though, I've strangely taken a liking to him. Even though he's clearly a psychopath. Maybe he has a secret love for cats.

"We better keep up," I say, moving faster, "Let's get to the front."

"Alright."

After that nice commotion Hisoka caused, I was able to catch my breath a little. My chin and my head aren't in top condition or anything, but my overall body doesn't hurt as much. My legs don't feel like lead, either. My eyes aren't clouded, or glazed over, straining to focus. I see exactly what I need to be doing. What I _should've_ been doing this whole time, from the moment I stepped out of that elevator.

"You seem better," Katsuaki tells me, the corners of his lips curling up into a warm smile. I stare at him for a few seconds.

There is _no way_ I can ditch him.

"I _am_ better. Hey— Is that Gon and Killua?"

I point up ahead to a white blob and a green blob, running just behind the examiner. A mosquito (probably, at least) lands on my hand, and I quickly swat at it.

"I'm catching up to them."

"—And I'm coming with you."

I discreetly take a peek at Katsuaki, and silently shake my head. Definitely no way.

As we approach the two, Killua peers behind him, directly at me. A scream is heard in the distance. _Many _screams, at that, but I ignore them.

"Well, look who it is," he mutters, looking away. I smirk.

"Setsuna!" Gon cheerily greets me, probably straining his neck to see me. I smile and wave, and run beside him.

"I just wanted to see how _you_ were doing, _Gon._"

I glance at Killua with a slight smirk, who glares at me. He's such a kid; it's adorable. Shin used to be like that. We'll get along just fine. I warmly smile at the thought, and Killua quickly looks away. I can see that his ears turned a slight pink color.

_You can't fool me, kid, _I think, my smile growing wider.

"Wait, you know my name!?" Gon perks up. I laugh, and he seems confused. He continues talking anyway.

"We're doing great! Though, I'm a little worry about our friends," Gon says, furrowing his brows.

"Friends?"

"Mm, our friends. Leorio and Kurapika!"

My eye involuntarily twitches.

"I'm sorry, did you say _Kurapika_?"

"Yeah! Do you know him?"

Gon seems so innocent that I can't think that he's lying. But I _know_ that Kurapika is dead. Everyone is.

"...What does he look like? Talk like? How does he act?"

Gon contorts his face like I've asked him to read an encyclopedia. I know that I'm asking too many questions at once, but I need to know. If it's anything about Kurapika, I _have_ to know.

I feel Killua staring at me with suspicious azure eyes. I try not to look at him. Katsuaki follows closely behind me.

"Well, he's about this tall, and he has _really_ blonde hair! And he's wearing this weird blue and red thing. I think he called it a tabard, or something like that. It has a strange pattern on it that I can't really describe. He's really nice, too! He reads a _ton_ of books—"

"Oh... T-That's... Yeah, okay..."

_"Setsuna—!?"_

* * *

When I wake up, I am leaning against a tree in an unknown location. All of the other applicants are here as well.

Kurapika is in front of my face.

* * *

終わり


	6. 五

_**Warning: Swearing.**_

* * *

第５章

* * *

I am staring directly into black eyes that mirror my own. Strands of blonde are strewn over them, and long eyelashes bat them away. A small slender nose, center on his face. Thin lips slightly ajar. This is Kurapika of the deceased Kurta Clan. This is my best friend, alive and pulsing before me.

His hands are firmly gripping my shoulders. He is on his knees, leaning over me. He is heavily breathing, and I can feel it. When he sees that I can keep my eyes open without struggle, he sits back on his feet. A butterfly flutters in front of him, distracting him for a few seconds, but he returns his sharp gaze at me.

All he says is, "She isn't dead."

My heart drops, but at the same time, I try not to smile. His voice is deeper. Serious and stern, but still breathy, smooth, and absolutely pleasing to hear again. It's so hard to look at him and not want to utterly collapse into his arms. I pause for a few seconds to gain composure, before shakily replying.

"...Which situation are you referring to?"

His eyes widen, and I can't tell if I've already gone too far or not.

Thing is, I don't really know this Kurapika.

He's about to say something when Katsuaki comes hastily trotting up, averting our attention.

"Thank God you're okay. You scared me man, not cool."

He is wearing a truly concerned look, with his arms loosely crossed. Most importantly, he is covered in mud. I almost stagger to my feet, to which he grabs my arms and hoists me up. I feel Kurapika's eyes burning into my back. Katsuaki slowly lets go, allowing his fingers to linger a bit longer on my skin. I can just _feel_ Kurapika quietly seething behind me. I move away from Katsuaki slightly, and quickly say something to distract from that rather suffocating moment.

"What happened, Katsuaki? I can't remember a thing," I mumble, looking around. I feel a stinging pain coming from my elbow, so I roll up my sleeve. Sure enough, there is a long scrape from the tip of the bone to the middle of my forearm. Wonderful. I'm at least glad that it isn't bleeding.

There is a large building in front of us. All of the other applicants are here, scattered about in their own groups, or just alone, fuming in the sidelines. I see Gon and Killua, and another older-looking man with a gnarly swollen cheek.

"Whatever happened to that nickname you gave me?" Katsuaki asks, a playful smile plastered on his face. I freeze. The suffocation and uncomfortable atmosphere has returned, thanks to the lovely Katsuaki! Give him a round of applause, would ya?

_What an absolute _horrible_ time to mention that, you idiot. Kurapika... Shit. Shit, shit, shit!_

"Gon was talking about Kurapika, and then you blacked out," Killua (surprisingly?) explains, "And this guy totally tripped over you. His fault for following _so closely_ behind."

He points to Katsuaki, who sheepishly shrugs. Killua is sporting an interesting and suspicious smirk, like he said something clever, but I expect nothing different from him. He's a smart kid. Kurapika is still burning holes. I hear the grass rustle, indicating that he's standing up. I turn to face him, expecting him to be almost eye-level, like he always was.

He's not. Definitely not.

I shyly peer up at him. I'm nervous that he's annoyed with me. Not my fault. I thought he was dead. Though, instead of getting scolded, he studies my face. Neither of us say anything. I'm too timid to come up with any words. I can't even remember how we used to talk. Everything used to be so natural, but now it's foreign and tense. His eyes scan over every detail, but mine keep focusing on one place.

I want to kick myself.

_He's not particularly looking at your lips. Stop imagining the impossible. Stop. And stop looking at his! Idiot!_

A familiar warm feeling is unfortunately beginning to simmer. I try to glance away, but where else can I look? I even out the weight between my legs, so I'm standing straighter, but he _still_ has to look down.

"I'm not looking down on you in a bad way. It's not my fault I turned out to be taller. I guess that means you owe me that last slice of mulberry pie," he awkwardly chuckles. I instantly remember. He's referring to our bet we made when we were little. I always said I'd be taller. I _always_ teased him about it, proud of the two centimeters I had on him. I completely flush, never expecting it to be the first thing he brought up upon meeting again. In fact, I didn't expect him to remember it at all._  
_

Well, I never expected anything from him. He's sort of supposed to be dead.

"S-Stop— Why are your mind reading skills _still_ so good?" I mutter, staring at the ground with weak balled fists. His laugh sounds the same, throaty and genuine, and I can't even describe how happy I am to hear it again.

"They only work on you."

That feeling is completely boiling over the top. That voice. That _voice_. My heart immediately wakes up. I quickly look up to see a _smile_, a new and unfamiliar one, one that I have not memorized.

_Look away. You're already being hypnotized. _

_He aged pretty damn well though..._

Nope. I change the subject.

"Uh..."

I gesture to the man with the swollen face.

"Who's that?"

He's leaning against a tree, clearly tired out. That _must_ hurt.

"That's Leorio!" Gon suddenly pipes in. I haven't heard a word from him since I woke up.

"Old man," Killua snickers. Leorio is quick to retort, despite his tumid cheek.

"I am _not_ old!" he yells, no stuttering or struggling at all. I giggle at the site of him, clenched fist and half-shut eyes.

"You sure are a trooper," I tell him, which clearly takes him aback. He hesitates to hold out his hand.

"Er... Name's Leorio," he mumbles, looking to the right. I shake his hand, which is a little cold and clammy.

"Setsuna."

Suddenly, Killua interrupts.

"So you know Kurapika?" His voice doesn't waver a bit. He uses a tone that creeps me out.

"Well, I—"

A rumbling noise cuts me off. A _very loud_ rumbling noise, resembling _groaning_. The doors to the building are opening, and standing in the entrance are two colorful people: a gigantic man sitting down with his legs extended in front of him, and a small woman casually flopped on a couch. I wince at her rather provocative clothing. Killua looks at me with squinted eyes that tell me he'll be asking about Kurapika later.

Our examiners for Phase Two of the Hunter Exam: Menchi and Buhara.

✴✴✴ 休憩 ✴✴✴

_Note: This section is based off of the HxH manga, partly because it's more interesting._

We quickly follow Gon as he swiftly slides down a hill. I slam into Kurapika's back, and Katsuaki into mine. I lean over to scold Gon for stopping, but then I see it. Before us is a herd of gigantic boars with sharp tusks. We watch one in particular snap a thick bone between its teeth as it devours the carcass of another animal.

"They're carnivores!?" Leorio loudly whispers.

"Now you've done it!" I exclaim, eyes widening.

They begin to charge at us, and the six of us sprint up the hill. Gon tries to hit one with his fishing rod, but to no avail. We all try the same thing, but receive the same results. I scramble to my feet and dash up a tree before I get trampled.

"Hitting the snout won't work," I tell everyone, rolling up my sleeves, "They _have_ to have a weak spot."

I watch Gon leap up into the air, wielding his fishing rod. He slams onto the head of one of the pigs, and it tumbles to its side with a loud boom. Dead.

"The forehead!" I whisper, leaping from my tree and landing feet first onto an unsuspecting pig.

"Got one!"

The rest of the group mimics our actions, including all of the other applicants.

"I can carry that for you," Katsuaki says, pointing to the pig. I shake my head.

"Don't worry about me."

I hoist it up onto my hands, and lift up with my arms. My elbow isn't doing too well, but I ignore it and try not to wince in front of him.

"...Well, damn. Thought I could squeeze a romantic task in, in all of this madness," Katsuaki chuckles. I pretend I didn't hear the word 'romantic'.

"Not this time, smooth guy. Let's hurry and go."

He grins and nods, and walks in front of me. In the corner of my eye, I see Kurapika watching us. I fix my hold on the pig, and starting treading back to the preparation site to fulfill Buhara's request.

I turn the pig, observing the skin as it cooks. My mother used to give me mini cooking lessons, but I was always horrible at it. However, I can at least decently cook a huge pig.

I pull it onto the plate and hope for the best. I slightly cringe as Buhara downs it all in one bite.

"Delicious!"

I smile, nod a quick 'thank you', and hurry back to everyone else.

"Well, I passed."

"I think _everyone_ passed Buhara's," Kurapika says, moving closer to me, "The problem is probably going to be Menchi."

His shoulder lightly touches mine, and my heart involuntarily flutters. I try not to make it obvious, but I suck at hiding my emotions. I lightly tap my thigh; another nervous habit of mine. Killua raises his eyebrow. I swear I see a smile begin to creep up on his lips, but Gon jolts him.

Before they can begin to chatter, Menchi sounds a gong.

"All seventy applicants have passed the first round," she says, nose slightly raised, "However, I'm not as easy to please as Buhara!"

"For the second round, prepare me... Sushi!"

Kurapika and I look at each other with furrowed brows. In fact, _everyone_ looks at each other with the same look.

"Sushi?"

✴✴✴ 休憩 ✴✴✴

"I remember reading about it before in a book," Kurapika speaks up in a hushed whisper. I nod.

"I think I've read something about it as well."

I turn to face the preparation table. It is lined with different types of knives, and in the corner is a pot filled with rice. I sigh, shaking my head as I try to recollect details from that book.

"I can't remember anything specific," I say. Another thing I suck at: remembering small things that will probably be important later. But then again, how was I supposed to know I'd have to make _sushi_ at any point in my life?

"Something of fish... rice mixed with vinegar, combined with raw _fish_. Something of the sort, if I recall correctly," Kurapika says.

"It's a start," I tell him, patting his shoulder. He jumps a little, and my eyes slightly widen. I think that was a little too awkward.

"Er..."

"_Fish?_ In a _forest?_" Leorio pipes up, _way _too loudly, at that. At least he distracted that uncomfortable moment.

"Idiot! Forests have rivers and ponds!"

We gape at the sight of all of the other applicants sprinting to the forests. I give Leorio a death stare, and quietly follow the rest of them.

I meet up with Katsuaki at a river not far from that hill we slid down.

"Kurapika said there's fish in sushi," I explain, "So we've got to catch some."

He nods, "Alright. How do we go about this?"

I feel around the inside of my jacket until I accidentally prick my finger.

"Shit... Found it," I mutter, sliding the knife out of its pocket. I dip my foot in, about to wade in, when Katsuaki stops me.

"No. I'll do it."

"You idiot, this is an exam. Or have you forgotten? _I _have to do things for _myself, _as do you," I snap. I internally cringe, realizing how rude and harsh I sounded.

"Feisty, too? I can get used to it," he smirks, swiftly grabbing my knife from my hand and diving into the water. I stand on the shore, right shoe wet and sloshy. I am ready to punch something.

"Are you nervous?" a voice calls out. I turn around, and it's Kurapika.

_Crap, _I think, glancing back at the river, _What'll he do if he sees Katsuaki give me some fish?_

"Hey, I think I heard Leorio calling you!" I blurt, pointing to a random direction into the forest. He gives me a look like he knows I'm talking bullshit.

"You're a terrible liar, Setsuna. You always have been," Kurapika says with a laugh.

_He said my name_.

I smile and shrug my shoulders.

"Do you need help?" Kurapika asks, walking closer to the edge of the shore.

"Actually, Katsu—"

As I say his name, he emerges from the water, bearing my knife and four odd-looking fish.

Kurapika blankly stares at me as Katsuaki hands me my knife and half of his catch.

"Some weird-looking fellas," he comments, "But this is a weird forest."

"Er, um... Thank you," I mumble, my eyes finding the ground.

"Sorry, what was that?"

"...Thanks..."

"Say again?"

"Don't tease me!" I pout, lightly kicking his shin. Katsuaki just laughs.

"Well, I'll leave you two... _to it_."

I whip around to face Kurapika, who's already treading back into the forest. His voice fades away into the air.

Shit.

Katsuaki pays it no mind and drags me along.

I visualize Kurapika walking away, and a stinging pain jabs my forehead like a dagger.

"Agh..."

"You alright?" Katsuaki asks, stopping to check on me.

"...Yeah, I'm fine. Let's go."

I don't like that feeling. I don't like seeing his backside. I want to see the front of him, his body, his face. His lips and his nose, and his eyes...

_His eyes! I can't believe I forgot. I need to speak with him soon._

I smirk at the fact that he did the exact same thing as I did. Pairo would've told us, "Great minds think alike."

I think about Kurapika. I can never, ever tell what he's thinking, even though we might make similar decisions. It almost annoys me. It almost saddens me.

Another thing I suck at: reading minds.

* * *

終わり

_I'm back guys! More updates to come. Hope you enjoyed this longer chapter! Thank you for your patience! x_


	7. Setsuna's Past: Excerpt I

**Welcome to the first memory.**

_**A bit of important background information before we begin:** These are excerpts, if you will, from Setsuna's past. Whether or not they include important information that will contribute to the main story is a secret, so you'll want to read carefully. There will be a total of **four**. They are, of course, told in Setsuna's perspective. _

_If you have any questions, message me, yo._

**Let us begin.**

* * *

一次記憶

* * *

On the day of my 11th birthday, I stood before the clan leader, nervous for my sentencing. I recall my uncle's words to me in the morning as I was preparing myself.

_"You're just a child," _he told me,_ "So they won't do anything horrible. You'll be fine. You'll be absolutely fine."_

"Kusunoki Setsuna," the elder grumbles, "As you have been proven an absolute _threat_ to this community..."

Already, my uncle's reassurances seem completely false. I hear my mother begin to cry in the background. I blink a few times.

_Yes, Setsuna._

_This is real._

"...We have decided to _banish_ you to the outside world, where you will fend for yourself. You will _never_ be able to see any of your friends or family _ever again_."

In the instant that he spat those words, my everything had been crushed and stomped on, and kicked into the dirt. Shin, my older brother, begins to choke out a few whimpers, and I know for sure that I am not dreaming. My brother never cries.

The elder motions for me to come over, and I quickly obey. He hands me a tiny satchel.

"You were born with the eyes, child," he says, "And you grew up in this community. Do you swear to secrecy of its location and people?"

I bob my head up and down as hard as I can.

"...I'd rather die than let anyone find this place," I whisper, voice shaky as I'm trying not to cry.

The elder nods, and tenderly places the satchel in my hand. My mother's quiet cries turn into violent sobs, and my heart is pounding.

I turn my head to Kurapika, Pairo, and my three family members. I see Kurapika reach out to me and cry my name, and I am about to run into his arms when a hand yanks _hard _on my jacket. I fall to the ground, landing on my tailbone. I cringe as Shin yells at the elder with disgusting language. He never raises his voice.

"Silence! You are not allowed to say goodbye. Leave at once, and never dare return. Jun?"

It was as if glass had been shattered. Young Jun, one of my neighbors who used to swipe me pieces of fruit and call me Sunshine, grabs me by my arm with a strength I never would've imagined he possessed. He pulls me up from the ground, barely giving me time to get on my feet, and drags me with him deep into the forest, away from everyone. Away from home. My arms are outstretched to them, reaching for them, but of course, it's futile. The last thing I hear is the screaming of my family and friends, calling after me, begging the elder for mercy. He gives none.

Jun never loosens his grip, nor does he speak a word. My other hand tightly clutches the small satchel given to me by the elder.

When the trees seem to be thinning, he shoves me aside and quickly turns away to return, his feet shuffling on the gravel. I call out to him.

"Wait! Jun! Jun! What do I do now?"

He stops, and hesitates to look behind his shoulder at me. His eyes are incredibly sad. It's all my fault. Sweet Jun. He didn't want to do this.

"You're going to have to figure it out, Sunshine."

And with that, he dashes back into the forest. If I go back, I'll most likely be hurt, or worse, killed. With my legs trembling, I turn around and face a large clearing before me. Civilization is miles from us, the way we made it. Terrified, I venture out of the thicket and into vast meadows, aimlessly wandering on my own.

The contents of the satchel are pressing against my hand.

* * *

終わり

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed!_

_Chapter Six for the main story coming soon._

_Also, I've written a piano solo that is entitled 'What I've Wanted to Say'. It's not really a 'theme song', but you can refer to it as one I suppose, as I wrote it in the spirit of this fanfiction. Link is on my profile! x_


	8. 六

第６章

* * *

As we approach the preparation tables, I spot Kurapika. His back is towards us, but as I get closer he turns around. He simply nods, and returns to his table.

I mentally groan.

Katsuaki heads over to his table, and I lay my fish down on mine. Kurapika's is next to me, and I don't know if we accidentally planned that or not. He walks past me and whispers something to me.

"We need to talk."

I watch him carry his plate up to Menchi. I look down at what I'm doing, and it's an absolute mess. There is no way I'm passing this.

I think back to my mother's diligent hands, cooking dinner for the family. My uncle used to joke around, saying that that would be me when I was older. (Of course, he knew I was absolutely awful at cooking. Everyone did.) My mother's hair would always be tied back in a bun, with loose strands sticking out.

Sometimes I secretly did wish I would grow up to be my mom. She was well-liked and respected in the village. Kind. Caring. I was always jealous of her amazing smile, that was so warm and welcoming it'd make anyone soften. I wanted to be like that.

Though, by the way things are going, I will never, _ever_ be like my mother.

I slam one of the knives' blade onto the table, chopping off the fish's hideous head. It makes a loud noise, of course, which causes a few people to look, including Kurapika. I heavily sigh, staring at the abomination that keeps getting reborn uglier.

_Whatever. I'm going to fail anyways._

I take the plate off of the table with so little energy that it almost slips through my fingers. I'm starting to get that familiar feeling that I had every day after I learned of the massacre.

I'm supposed to be focusing on myself. It doesn't matter at all that Kurapika suddenly showed up alive. Katsuaki doesn't matter at all either. None of these people do.

_Though, uh, Kurapika and I are from the same clan. We're the only ones left. Doesn't that mean we're kind of stuck with each other? That it's only us now that everyone else is dead? That we need to look after each other?_

_But, we have our own individual lives. The burning fact that we are from the same clan doesn't mean anything. Actually, it never did._

I remember the young Kurapika I used to know, my best friend and secret crush, the one I would always follow to the ends of the earth. The one who drove my 10 year old heart crazy, and the way my mother would tease me because I made it obvious. Everyone knew.

Of course, he was the one person who didn't.

_...Okay, maybe it means something. He _was_, after all, my only friend, aside from Pairo. Why am I not excited? I mean, I'm happy, but it's not like what I used to dream about. Is it because of Katsuaki and his stupid 'romantic' acts? Is Kurapika angry with me because I've made a friend, and it was a guy?_

_Wait._

_Why should Kurapika be pissed off about _that? _This is Kurapika we're talking about. He is absolutely blind to these things. He shouldn't care at all, or even _notice_, for that matter. __So why does he use that suffocating tone of voice when talking to the both of us? And what are those _looks? _What the heck is that supposed to—_

I hit my nose into someone's back, almost dropping my abomination. I look up to see exactly what I do not want to.

Perfect.

Just perfect.

_So _perfect.

Hisoka.

He stares at me with these eyes that I can't even describe. And here I thought _mine_ were scary.

"I'm terribly sorry," I calmly say, slightly bowing. I think back to the incident while we were waiting in the tunnel, where he totally made some man's arms disintegrate for not apologizing for doing the _exact_ same thing I just did.

I like my arms. I wish to keep them.

I try to calm my breathing. A lot of people are staring, and it's gotten a little quiet. Obviously. _Everyone_ in this room is scared of him. He continues to stare at me, and I know that what I'm looking at is probably death.

Instead of my arms disintegrating, however, he simply smirks, and with a rather _seductive _lick of his lips, he turns away. I feel shivers running up my spine.

He is certainly what nightmares are made of.

I place my plate rather carelessly in front of Menchi. She takes one look at it and starts griping.

"Did you really think that was edible!?" she yells, sending me away. I wince at the sound of her raised voice.

"I knew I would fail, but was it really _that_ bad?" I mutter, examining one of the knives.

"It's alright. At least she didn't flip yours off of the table right in front of you," Katsuaki says, placing a hand on my shoulder. I flinch a little, and he quickly removes it.

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm just... _on edge_, or something," I mumble, seeing Kurapika with my peripheral vision.

"I've been meaning to ask something... You know Kurapika, right? How?" Katsuaki asks, making sure to whisper. I glance at Kurapika, and sigh.

"We were childhood friends. You remember how I told you you looked like my best friend? Yeah... That's him," I murmur, placing the knife back into its slot. Katsuaki sucks in his breath.

"...So, you must be pretty excited to see him again."

"...More or less."

"Huh."

I look at Kurapika again, who, this time, returns my gaze. My eyes find the ground, and I turn away so my back is to him.

"It's just... This is going to be a shitty excuse, but it's just complicated," I say, looking up at Katsuaki's face._  
_

"Oh, there's a rice grain on your cheek."

"Really? Can you get it for me?"

I stare at him for a second, but carefully pluck the little grain off and toss it to the ground.

He smiles, "Thanks."

My face starts to get warm, and as I say something, my name is called.

"Setsuna."

I whip around, and, of course, it's Kurapika. His fists are slightly balled.

"May I speak to you? Now?"

I look to Menchi, who is still rejecting dishes.

"We don't really have time—"

"_Now._"

I pause, nervous by the tone of his voice. It rings in my ears.

"...Alright, then."

I follow him off to the side. Katsuaki, Gon, Killua, Leorio... They're all watching, and probably listening, as well.

"You probably already know what it's about," Kurapika says in a hushed voice. I nod, staring into black eyes that used to be a familiar brown.

"This is just the beginning, isn't it?" I sigh, placing my hands on my hips. Kurapika tilts his head.

"Or do you not know?"

"What do you mean?"

He closes his eyes and lets out a deep breath.

"It's about Katsuaki."

* * *

終わり

_Yo! Sorry for a late update (and a shorter chapter! I know I promised more frequent and longer updates.). Unexpectedly, I'm having some family troubles, so chapter 7 will be a little delayed. I'll try to have it up as soon as possible._

_And hey, this fanfic's gotten over 1500 views! Wow! Never thought that'd ever happen. Thank you guys so much!_


End file.
